Ways to handle the isolation that can come with the holidays

The holidays have arrived, which reminds of those passenger-side mirrors that read, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.” It wasn’t too long ago that the holidays seemed far away, yet here they are.

After I was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF) in 2017, my health limitations during the holiday season increased year after year. With the arrival of COVID-19 in 2020, my need to isolate became even more rigid. I missed family gatherings.

As my IPF continued to progress, my wife, Susan, and I had frank discussions with my care team. We were confident that, based on my disease progression, I wasn’t going to make it to Christmas 2021.

I was able to breathe more easily after I received a bilateral lung transplant in July 2021, which was indeed joyful. The first year following my transplant, though, involved more isolation before I could emerge from my medical cocoon.

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Regardless of where you are on your journey, feelings of isolation may seem amplified during the holidays. I know that I thrive on human connection, so my periods of isolation were trying.

To help, I bought a Zoom subscription to allow me to schedule video calls with friends and family. It also allowed me to set up a call so I could participate in events where I couldn’t be physically present. At Christmas, for example, I could be there via Zoom when gifts were opened.

I was comfortable, especially with family and close friends, sharing the reason I couldn’t attend in person. I never had anyone say I was using my IPF or lung transplant as an excuse not to be a part of a celebration. If Zoom participation wasn’t possible, I’d ask someone to take photos or short videos to share with me.

8 minutes

Are you familiar with the concept behind “eight minutes”? It was introduced Jan. 2, 2023, in The New York Times as the second part of “The 7-Day Happiness Challenge.” The article, by Jancee Dunn, was titled “The Secret Power of the 8-Minute Phone Call.” Simon Sinek, a writer and inspirational speaker, explains it well in a short You Tube video.

Elana Premack Sandler wrote about it in a Psychology Today article titled “Can 8 Minutes Make Your life a Little Better?” A subheading in the article reads, “Connectedness as medicine.” That’s my experience, and it’s something I relied on during my journey even before I heard of the eight-minute reference.

Dunn’s concept works. I’ve got people in my circle with whom I’ve shared the phrase, “Do you have eight minutes?” They know that if they send me that phrase, via any form of communication, I’ll stop what I’m doing to respond to them. I know they’d do the same for me if I sent the same message.

While some have associated this phrase with people who are suicidal, that’s not its only use. If you received some bad news about a friend or family member, for instance, it’d be appropriate to use this tool. If you’re feeling down about a test result or a negative change in your prognosis, use the eight-minutes concept. What person in your life could be your “eight-minute” partner?

Forums

You can also use the forums here at Pulmonary Fibrosis News to reach out to others in our disease community. Start a thread just to say hello or to discuss something on your mind. It’s a great way to connect with people who are on a similar journey.

You can also reach out to me in the forums by using the messaging function. I’ll do my best to respond in a reasonable time.

Because of the Bionews holiday schedule, this column will be my last for the year. I wish you a merry Christmas and a New Year’s filled with peace and light. I’ll see you in 2025. Until then, you and I can make every breath count.

Note: Pulmonary Fibrosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Fibrosis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary fibrosis.