Christie Patient,  —

It’s been seven months since my mom, Holly, had a double-lung transplant. She and the miracle organs that have been stitched within her are going strong. But their relationship hasn’t been perfect. My mom’s body and her new lungs each brought their own baggage to the relationship.

I have spent a lot of time writing about self-care and mental health as a caregiver. Even if the term “self-care” sounds silly to you, I recommend dedicating time every day to your mental health. If for no other reason than to help prevent caregiver burnout.

My husband, Jonny, and I return to the University of Nevada, Reno, every year for our alumni rugby game. The first weekend of October is among the best of the year. Our parents come to watch, and for one magical day we have our closest friends and family in one…

In times of trouble, I remember the words of Mister Rogers’ mother, who said to always “look for the helpers.” Until recently, that advice comforted me more in theory than in practice. It was easy to look for — and see — my helpers, but I seldom called…

When my mom, Holly, was hospitalized to wait for a double-lung transplant, I needed to talk to a survivor. I longed to hear from someone who had been through it and was living, breathing proof that surviving was possible.   About a year before my mom…

Last week, I wrote about the benefits of having multiple caregivers during my mom’s recovery from a double-lung transplant. My dad, Aunt Shari, and I shared the responsibilities so that Mom had the best care from each of us. Preventing caregiver burnout and having someone else who…

Before my mom had a double-lung transplant, my dad was her only caregiver. Holly, my mom, was reasonably independent until a couple of months before being admitted to the ICU. Ed, my dad, was her companion and helper, encouraging her to walk for exercise and helping her…

On Independence Day, I found myself alone, drunk, and crying. Every other person at the small party had adjourned to the parking lot to smoke. I have always had a problem with smoking. The first fight my husband, Jonny, and I ever had was when I found out that he…

Last week, I talked about how caring for my mother, Holly, before and after her double-lung transplant helped prepare me for parenthood. As an only child, I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to care for someone in such a comprehensive way. I learned a lot about myself and how…

I don’t have children yet, but like most people, I learned nearly everything I know about parenting from my parents. I grew up watching them and learning from them. I have taken note of their good strategies and of the things I might do differently with my kids. My husband…