Let’s Treat Ourselves with Kindness

Kim Fredrickson avatar

by Kim Fredrickson |

Share this article:

Share article via email
kindness

Just breathe, passionate help for the PF journey

A pulmonary fibrosis diagnosis is difficult, to say the least. You need kindness, not just for others, but also for yourself. It helps to be compassionate with yourself during the stressful, scary, and difficult times. Talking to yourself with kindness is a powerful form of self-compassion.

Kind truths to tell yourself:

  • You are valuable and precious, no matter what is happening.
  • It’s normal to be angry, confused, sad, fearful, and all jumbled up inside. These feelings are a normal and necessary part of adjusting to what you are enduring.
  • Allow yourself to grieve. This is God’s way of helping you work through the emotional turmoil you are feeling.
  • You are of great worth and don’t deserve to suffer.
  • No matter what is happening, you can be a good friend to yourself.
  • Take time to care for yourself. This is just as important as other things you need to do.
  • You are doing the best you can with the resources you have.
  • Listen to your spirit and body. What do you need right now? What would a really good friend do for you right now? You can be that friend to yourself.
  • What would the kindest person you know say to you right now? Say that to yourself.
  • Give yourself time to have a good cry and take a nap. This may be just what you need.
  • Even if you can’t feel him, God loves and values you deeply, and he is with you to support and care for you right now, right where you are.
  • Breathe, rest, and be kind to yourself.

We don’t need to be perfect

It doesn’t matter if we’re having trouble adjusting to our diagnosis or struggling to persist. No matter what, you deserve kindness, compassion, grace, and understanding. No one gets through life without struggling or making mistakes. You are human, and you are learning as you go.

Every new challenge presents a learning curve, whether it is a PF diagnosis, adapting to using oxygen, or dealing with an exacerbation. Each challenge is new, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to know how to handle situations we’ve never been through before.

When we are hard on ourselves about the struggles we are going through, it makes things worse. We then have two problems: the original one, and being hard on ourselves for not knowing how to handle it.

Practice kindness

I encourage you to give yourself the gift of kindness. Let it warm your soul, soothe your discomfort, increase your joy, and spread to others naturally. I’m sending love and kindness to each of you today. We all need kindness, and we can all benefit by being a kind friend to ourselves.

I’d love to hear from you!

What did you notice as you read these self-compassionate messages? Did you relax? Feel comforted? Did it feel foreign to talk to yourself with kindness? Were you able to let a little bit of kindness soak in? I hope so.

Please leave a comment below and share with those who could benefit via email or on social media.

***

Note: Pulmonary Fibrosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Fibrosis News or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary fibrosis.

Comments

PATRICIA L HAYDEN avatar

PATRICIA L HAYDEN

Thank you for sharing this important and often (at least with me) forgotten wisdom. Some days, try as I may, I just can't get out of my funk.I decided that I cannot drive a car, as I don't trust my reactionary skills anymore. My husband drives me if I really need to go somewhere and I really don't have anywhere to go. He also works so I don't want to bother him especially if it is not important. I have no energy to do anything. I feel like I am not contributing to "us". The good days are getting less. I am going through the process of getting a possible lung transplant. So far 1 year has gone by. There have been a few cliches, but I think I am getting near at least getting on "the List". When it is all said in done the one thing that brings me any kind of relief is my belief in God, but I am far from being a model Christian. Thank for letting me share.

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hi Patricia,
Thanks for sharing. Your feelings are so normal. It is hard as we become less and less able to do what we used to do. I do understand. I've been going through the same process to "get on the list." It is exhausting for sure. I'm so glad you find comfort in God. Me to! It makes such a difference. You are acceptable to Him just the way you are :)

Reply
Peter Dorricott avatar

Peter Dorricott

Hi Kim, my wife found this page whilst she was browsing on her phone and showed it to me, we live in North Wales ( UK) and i was finally diagnosed with IPF May 2016 after suffering with a cough for over two and a half years. I was prescribed Nintedanib and until recently had no side effects, but now the side effects have hit me without warning. It is a blessing to find someone who one can share with as "support groups " are hard to find and IPF seems to be unknown to a lot of people. My wife has been trying to find support for carers for a long time and she has to explain what IPF was, ( one contact thought it was the same as IBS )

We put our trust in God and are grateful to him for being with us at this time.

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hello Peter,
Thanks so much for your comment all the way from North Wales! I'm so glad this column is a help to you. We all need the support we can get! I don't know if you are on facebook, but there are some great support groups online. Here's two links you can check out. Ultimate Pulmonary Wellness Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/UltimatePulmonaryWellness/ PF Warriors Facebook Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/pfwarriorrs/ I also wanted to let you know that I have a book coming out 11/15 to help PF patients and their loved ones called, "Pulmonary Fibrosis Journey: A Counselor and Fellow Patient Walks with You." I hope it will be a blessing to you and many others. I had to learn so much through the school of hard knocks. I’m hoping to help other patients and caregivers on this difficult journey. Blessings to you and your wife.

Reply
Peter Dorricott avatar

Peter Dorricott

Hello Kim, thank you for your quick reply,unfortunately we are not on facebook. If you have any other people from the uk that contact you, would it be possible to share details?
My wife and I do a daily reading from "our daily bread" and in reading todays ( october 19th ) we imediately thought of you, using your skills to help others and showing empathy.
yours in Christ
Peter and Jen Dorricott

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hi Peter and Jen,
I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to share personal information about other patients in the UK :( Here are two more online resources that may be a support to you. American Lung Association Pulmonary Fibrosis Support Group and discussion community. www.inspire.com/groups/caring-for-pulmonary-fibrosis www.pfwarrior.com Hope that is a help. Thanks so much for your encouragement!

Reply
Marilyn Hendricks avatar

Marilyn Hendricks

Kim,
I'm so glad to have found this site. I find your information helpful and I am blessed by the sharing of your faith. I'm also newly diagnosed, and adjusting to all this is certainly a challenge. But my faith is strong and I know where I'm headed. I look forward to reading your book.

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hi Marilyn,
Thanks so much for your comment. I'm so glad my column has been a help to you. So sorry for all the adjustments you are going through adjusting to your new reality. So glad we share the comfort of our faith and where we're going after death. Hugs to you.

Reply
Peter Dorricott avatar

Peter Dorricott

Hi Kim, trying to purchase your new book in the uk but without success, any suggestions??
Peter & Jen Dorricott
North Wales

UK

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hi Peter,
So sorry you're having trouble purchasing my book in the uk. I know it is for sale on amazon's uk site. Please try this link and let me know if it works. I hope so! https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pulmonary-Fibrosis-Journey-Counselor-Patient/dp/0988833921/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543793230&sr=8-1&keywords=pulmonary+fibrosis+journey

Reply
Kim Fredrickson avatar

Kim Fredrickson

Hi Peter,
So sorry you’re having trouble purchasing my book in the uk. I know it is for sale on amazon’s uk site. Please try this link and let me know if it works. I hope so! https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pulmonary-Fibrosis-Journey-Counselor-Patient/dp/0988833921/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543793230&sr=8-1&keywords=pulmonary+fibrosis+journey

Reply
Peter Dorricott avatar

Peter Dorricott

Hi Kim,thought we would send you this message to ask how you are doing? and whether you have heard any thing from the hospital regarding the lung transplant? We have thought a lot about you especialy since reading your book which we are finding so helpful and informative (no sugar coating and pulls no punches)
It was so comforting to know that we are not alone on this journey.
Much love in Christ
XXXXXXXXXXX
Pete & Jenny Dorricott

We look to Him for our strength and peace

Reply

Leave a comment

Fill in the required fields to post. Your email address will not be published.