Rediscovering who I am, then and now, in returning to teaching

I’m at it again; I’m job hunting, or seeking employment, if you will.

But this time, the search carries more weight. It’s not just about finding work; it’s about reclaiming a part of myself that I thought I’d lost. Teaching has always been my passion, the steady flame that keeps me going. And now, after years of setbacks and silence, I’m ready to return to the classroom.

I’ll be honest: I’m scared. I haven’t lectured in front of a large group of students since 2019. Six years is a long time to step away from something that once felt second nature.

During this period, I encountered several challenges: the pandemic, my mother’s passing, and the progression of my pulmonary fibrosis (PF). Each of these challenges gave me reason to retreat, to remain unseen. They became shields that kept me hidden from the world.

Recommended Reading

May 24, 2022 Columns by Ann Reynoso

Celebrating 1 Year of Finding My Path Through Writing

Physically ready enough

Recently, my medical team has expressed satisfaction with the current deceleration in my PF progression. I’m following a treatment regimen that’s contributing to improved strength and stability. I intend to make use of this opportunity by moving out of my years of withdrawal. My goal is to participate fully in the environment where I feel most suited, which is the classroom.

For too long, I let my illness be my kryptonite. I treated PF as a barrier, a reason to say no, a reason to shrink. At times, I saw myself as an urban hermit, isolated and longing for connection, yet afraid to reach out. I realize now I can’t continue living like that. My illness may shape my life, but it does not define all of who I am.

What defines me, and what has always defined me, is teaching. It’s the joy of sparking curiosity, the excitement of watching students connect ideas, and the deep satisfaction of guiding them toward new ways of seeing the world. Teaching is not just a career for me; it’s my purpose. It’s the space where my voice is strongest, where I feel most alive.

Of course, doubts still creep in. I worry that my illness might scare universities away and that they will see me as someone too fragile to keep up with the demands of academia. I wonder if they’ll assume my oxygen tank or occasional absences will overshadow what I bring to the classroom. But then I remind myself that my illness doesn’t erase my abilities. If anything, it adds to them.

My new skill set

PF has forced me to develop resilience, empathy, and adaptability, qualities I now bring into my teaching. I know what it means to struggle, to persevere, to face limitations and still move forward. These are lessons students need to see, and not just in theory, but in practice. When I step into a classroom, I don’t just bring knowledge of sociology; I bring lived experience of how systems, policies, and personal challenges intersect in real and profound ways.

Yes, I may need accommodations. I may teach at a slower pace or take pauses when I need to catch my breath. But what I offer in return is perspective, presence, and passion. I can model for my students that strength is not the absence of struggle, but the decision to keep going anyway. I can bring something into the classroom that no syllabus can capture, and that is lived experience and perseverance.

I’m learning to stop treating my illness as a wall and start seeing it as part of my story. For years, PF was the reason I pulled away, but now I want it to be the reason I return. It’s taught me that life is fragile, time is precious, and we can’t wait forever to do what we love.

Returning to teaching is not only about me; it’s also about the students I’ll meet. For six years, I’ve been away but not absent. I’ve been gathering stories, lessons, and insights from my journey with illness, and I’m ready to share them. I want my students to know that learning isn’t limited to textbooks; it comes from life itself.

So yes, I’m nervous. But I’m also hopeful. I plan to return to teaching in a classroom, using an oxygen tank if necessary, to demonstrate that determination can persist through challenges. My aim is to show both myself and my students that dedication remains present even during difficult circumstances.

After years of hiding, I’m ready to step into the light. Teaching has always been my lifeline, and now I choose it again — not because I have to, but because it is who I am.

Note: Pulmonary Fibrosis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Pulmonary Fibrosis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to pulmonary fibrosis.