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Hi Lori, I am so sorry that you have been struggling lately, and dealing with an insensitive friend to boot. I don’t have a lot to add, since the replies to your thread have had both compassion and suggestions for reading, prayer, etc. But I do want to say that many people do not really understand the grief of this whole process unless they have been through something similar or are willing to be intentional in their listening/empathizing… but of course, being empathetic is painful when it comes to terminal illness. I am not forgiving your friend for being so dismissive–that is not ok–but just stating that that kind of conversation may be more common than you’d expect coming from people you love.
Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be heard and respected by your loved ones. Anyone who claims that you are “being negative” or are complaining, dwelling, etc… well, they don’t have your best interest at heart. Experiencing negative emotions and grief is important, and if you have people in your life who will sit with you through that, cling to them. Forget the rest when you need support. Or, be very upfront that their reaction to your pain is both hurtful and unhelpful. They may come around. Know that you’ve always got people here who can listen and comiserate, though.