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Responding to Insensitive Comments With Positivity
I’ve written about a similar topic in the past, however, there are so many negative or insensitive comments being made around the world these days, I wanted to shake it up and focus on positive responses! Have a read and share your thoughts below.
At some point, everyone is subjected to insensitive comments. Regardless of the intention behind these comments, the impact is usually the same: it’s hurtful and emotionally damaging.
I’ve found the best way to respond to insensitive comments, is by using it as an opportunity to educate others. It can be particularly hurtful when someone makes an insensitive comment towards someone living with an invisible illness, such as pulmonary fibrosis (PF). This has happened to me and to others living with PF. I have tried my best to use these comments as an opportunity to educate those around me.
Here are some scenarios that I’ve been in — and how I responded:
Using a disability parking spot
Due to PF being a disease of the lungs that causes extreme shortness of breath and fatigue, patients often use a disability parking spot. Since PF is also an invisible illness and can impact people of all ages, one might assume that someone in their thirties should not be using the disability parking spot. In the past, people have made comments chastising me or my friends for parking in a disability parking spot. Instead of getting upset, I try to use this as an opportunity to educate others about invisible illnesses. I like to remind people that not all illnesses or disabilities are visible, and that it’s important to avoid judgment.Heavy smoker
When people see patients using oxygen, there’s often an assumption that the patient used to smoke heavily or lived in a home with heavy smokers, which is why their lungs don’t work. This is not true since I have never smoked a day in my life, and I find this particular comment very hurtful. Instead of responding negatively, I let people know that I have never smoked and that nothing I did caused my disease.Looks of judgment when using an elevator instead of stairs
Unless I have my oxygen on, people often stare at me when I choose to use an elevator instead of going up a flight of stairs. Since I look seemingly healthy (without oxygen) people can’t understand why I need to use an elevator, and I simply tell them that my heart and lungs can’t handle exertion like theirs can due to an invisible illness.Prednisone puffiness
I once heard someone call a post-transplant patient who was on prednisone “fat.” This was extremely hurtful, and I suggested that the patient share her life-saving transplant story with the person who made the comments — and it turns out her story really inspired the commenter. Hopefully that person chose to advocate for organ donation awareness as a result.Have you experienced anything similar?
How do you handle insensitive comments related to your disease or otherwise?
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