Are You More Sensitive Since Your PF Diagnosis?
I know in the past I’ve written about how my emotions can feel out of control since my diagnosis of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF) in early 2016. However, in past columns or forum topics, usually I write about how they feel out of control in response to something that has happened: bad news, a crappy medical appointment, medication change or a new symptom of this disease are some examples.
I don’t think I’ve ever written about feeling increasingly sensitive or emotionally heightened on a regular basis since being diagnosed with IPF.
I am thankful to have never really dealt with anxiety or depression growing up. It has only been in recent years that I’ve witnessed their debilitating effects on others as I watch close friends and family members deal with anxiety or depression. As a result of not experiencing these things myself, I cannot say for certain if my heightened emotions in response to what others say or do is due to anxiety, or if I am simply increasingly sensitive to others. I know the high-doses of steroids that I am on can play a role in this too.
Sometimes when others do or say something (or don’t say something for that matter) I can get so angry with them. My anger is not projected, and most often it is not external anger either but internally I get very upset and mad, replaying what they said or did over and over in my mind. I can usually move past it with a little time (which is why I don’t believe it is anxiety, since I don’t fixate on what happened) alone and resume our relationship as if nothing happened. However, the brief period of time when I feel hurt, sad or angry at the person who may have (likely) unintentionally upset me is hard to deal with. I don’t remember ever experiencing this in the past: a sudden internal burst of frustration with someone based on what they might have done or said in a certain tone.
I can only chalk this up to being increasingly sensitive to others right now, or emotionally heightened as a result of the constant threat of my lung disease. I don’t feel anxious on a regular basis (thankfully) and usually am fairly happy and content with my life and all the wonderful people in it. As a result, I am struggling to understand why I can get so internally worked up when someone does something that they likely don’t even see as a big deal, and yet, it can tear me up inside.
Are you increasingly sensitive to the words or actions of others since your diagnosis of PF/IPF?
If so, does this happen for you on a regular basis and how you subdue it?
Thank you in advance for sharing.
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