How Does Fatigue Get in Your Way?
As a patient living with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF), I’ve become pretty accustomed to feeling mentally fatigued and physically exhausted majority of the time. While this is one of the most difficult symptoms of living with IPF, there is unfortunately nothing I can do about it but try my best to just “plug through” each day. However, sometimes my fatigue dictates what I feel like I am capable of and this is tough to accept.
To explain further, without providing a lot of context because that would be boring; sometimes I don’t feel as though I can cope or deal with something important that needs addressing due to my fatigue. At my place of employment, there are a number of different interpersonal difficulties going on at the moment, which are caused by being in a constant state of change and fluctuation. Its my personal belief that change doesn’t bring out the best in anyone, and this is certainly the case at work right now. As I prepare to return to work after taking some time away, I’ve been reflecting on those interpersonal relationships and what it is that I need to do my job well. Unfortunately to uncover this for others, it’ll require some intense, likely emotional and potentially difficult conversations which I know will exhaust me. These need to happen for me to feel confident in my decision to return to work, I understand this, however, my fatigue makes this task so daunting even though I know it needs to happen.
Not only do I know it is going to take a significant amount of physical energy to return to work for me, I am now aware that these conversations will be mentally exhausting and I just don’t want to do it. Its not that I don’t think they’re is important, or want to have those conversations that will ultimately help me feel better at my work place, but the thought of the emotional and physical energy I know its going to take is a deterrent altogether.
Have you experienced this before: where the knowledge of how exhausting something is going to be acts as enough of a reason to not do it?
Maybe it just feels “easier” not to do it, given how fatigued you know you’ll be afterwards?
I’d love to hear from you!
Log in to reply.