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Grief Support Ideas
Hello PFriends, it has been a while! I took leave from my moderating duties after the sudden loss of a dear friend in August. I am back and embracing the fact that all I can really think about is my grief right now. I wrote this column last week with some ideas on how to help someone who is grieving–whether the grief is due to a diagnosis, progressive illness, or loss of a loved one, I think it would be a helpful read.
A lot of us in the forums have talked about how friends and family seem to drift away from us after a diagnosis like PF. It’s scary and uncomfortable to face grief, pre-emptive grief, and mortality.
If there’s someone in your life whose support you are missing or someone who could maybe use a little advice on how to better support you in your journey, feel free to send this column to them as a way to start the conversation.
What are some ways that you have felt continually supported in your ongoing grief journey?
What’s the single best thing someone has said or done for you?
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3 Replies
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There is a grief support counsellor at the hospice where I receive palliative care. She helped me immensely in dealing with the death of my son, my only child, at age 43. Afterward, I started CBT with her for managing my own grief as I have moved closer to my own death. The one thing she said to me about my own death was asking what it was about it that I was afraid of and I realised it wasn’t death itself but suffering and loss beforehand. This has helped me focus on helpful vs unhelpful thoughts.
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Hi Wendy,
You are right; death hath no sting. I don’t worry about my own suffering as I think that will be handled. My big concern is family suffering through this and watching my discomfort. I am 80 so no big deal but I an sad to see that younger people have IPF and can’t imagine what they are facing.Mark
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Hi Christie,
In my earlier days, I was very secular – owned much, made much, and wanted more. None of these are sustainable. Indeed many would call greed an addiction that is generally fear-based as we try to hopelessly protect ourselves.
But I’ll cut to the chase. 20 years ago I had an experience that I can only explain as experiential meaning most would have to experience a similar milestone to understand because words don’t do it. Now my faith in God sustains me. All of us are headed to our tombstone and there is very little one can do about it – in the end, nothing can be done except how “you” live and walk while still here.
Since I have great hope in the promises of the Bible and try my best to live them (most of the time – a work in progress to be sure), I know the unfairness and harshness of this life will be completely overruled and reversed in a sense. Who doesn’t want that?
Stay well…
Steve
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